


Taste

by crmsndragonwngs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Cannibalism, Experimental, Gen, Insanity, degradation of thought, practice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 02:25:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5726308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crmsndragonwngs/pseuds/crmsndragonwngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What’s funny, he thinks when he has the capacity to do so, is that <i>her</i> is so ridiculously ambiguous.  How many <i>hers</i> have a stake in his life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taste

**Author's Note:**

> Practice piece, read at your own risk. Also, the end notes are just ramblings, so feel free to skip it.

He’s locked in his cage again, and all he can think about is _her_. What’s funny, he thinks when he has the capacity to do so, is that _her_ is so ridiculously ambiguous. How many _hers_ have a stake in his life? 

Takizawa Seidou ponders the idea over breakfast. Eto brings it, as she often does, and he does his best to ignore her when she begins her prattling. She talks about his family, the CCG, taunts him about his failures. 

“Always second best, Takizawa-kun.” She sings over the sound of his smacking.

It’s all getting rather boring.

Eto, despite her relative newness to his life, has become a fairly large part of Takizawa’s thoughts. Mostly, he hates her for what she’s done to him, but sometimes he allows himself to think about how beautiful she is. In a sort of terrifying, demon-from-fucking-hell sort of way. He usually stops himself before his twisted little mind can carry him away into a land he has no intention of ever exploring, but on the days when he’s particularly hungry and he hasn’t seen her much, he wonders how she tastes.

It’s disgusting how much he wishes that she tastes like Akira.

He’d kissed her once, when they were both loaded after the Halloween party. He’d carried her home, stumbling and nauseous, and when he’d set her down she’d kissed him.

It had tasted like fruit punch and too-strong sake, and those awful, _stale_ cinnamon buns that Amon-san had brought. She’d eaten one just to be nice, and then had promptly spit it into a napkin the moment the senior investigator had turned around.

He wonders if that’s how Eto tastes; too sour and strong and utterly _rancid_ from all her evil. He wishes she would get close enough one day for him to take a bite.

Bite, bite, bite. Until nothing is left. Just like his mother.

He shudders, hunching in on himself, and Eto tilts her head.

“Thinking about her intestines, again?” She asks, the bandages over her face shifting as she smiles.

_Yes_ , he thinks, but doesn’t say it. So many _hers_ in his life. She, perhaps, the biggest of them all.

His mother had cared for him as he had always assumed all mothers cared for their children. She was soft when he was good, hard when he was not, and forgiving all the time. She could sense his mood by just the slightest twitch, and if he was sad he could always count on his favorite meal, presented to him as grandiosely as if he were dining in a five star restaurant.

He’d long since forgotten how that meal had tasted, but he still remembers how her _insides_ had tasted. Too warm, and too sweet, and more comforting than he thought they should be. She’d murmured as he’d consumed, and for the life of him he can’t bring himself to be disgusted by it. Oh, he’d hated it, sure. He still hates himself for it. But who can honestly feel bad for eating their favorite meal?

Seina had always hated when their mother made Takizawa’s favorite meal. She’d said it was too salty. And if he couldn’t understand it then, he certainly can’t now.

Because she had _screamed_ at the sight of him, had scrambled away when he’d offered her a bite. How could she be so ungrateful? Their mother had always worked so hard to serve them such tasty meals, and she’d never liked a single one.

The gall.

He’d wondered, still wonders, if she could have done any better. Could she have provided such a wholesome meal? Could she have matched the flavor?

But Eto had told him to spare her. She is needed. For what he doesn’t know. 

So he contents himself to wonder, on the days when he is locked in his cage. When all he can think about is _her_. What’s funny, he thinks when he has the capacity to do so, is that _her_ is so ridiculously ambiguous. How many _hers_ have a stake in his life? And how many _hers_ has he yet to taste?

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno, this is really just practice. Shaking off the rust. That sort of thing. Gotta get back in that angsty, bloody groove, y'know? So, yeah, sorry about the complete unoriginality lol.
> 
> Uh, anyway, I guess this is sort of disjointed? I did that on purpose. Takizawa has moments of vague lucidity, but quickly devolves into complete crazy-talk. That's canon. So, I tried to emulate it. It started out making sense, following a plot, and then kinda turned into him pondering how yummy his mother's intestines were. Also, I had to get a little seiaki dig in there, just for posterity's sake. [Here's the fic referenced](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5129774) (because yes of course I was referencing something I've already written).
> 
> You know how it's said that repeating the same action over and over again expecting different results is the definition of insanity? Even though the idea [has never _actually_ been confirmed to be used by Einstein](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-therapy/200907/the-definition-insanity-is), I think there might be some truth in it. How many fucking times am I going to write the same fic? At least I didn't use the dog/cat dichotomy again, amiright? See, *taps head* learning. But seriously, I don't mean to keep repeating myself, but until we find out more about what the FUCK HAPPENED TO THIS POOR INNOCENT CHILD, I'm probably going to explore this idea over and over and over and over and over *deep breath* and over and over and over again. I can't help it. C'mon, Ishida-sensei, can we get to Takizawa again soon? Please? So I can crawl out of my TG rut? I'm actually starting to lose interest because I want to know what happened to him so badly.
> 
> Any-anyway, it's 2am and I'm tired and my knee hurts, so I'm blaming that if I don't make any sense. Sorry about the rambling. The point was that this was practice. Trying to get the tone right for this particular character, which is the other reason why I keep exploring this topic. Insanity is harder to write than you might think, so props to sensei for nailing it :P


End file.
